The joys of having a Netflix account are remarkable. You can imagine the look on my face when I see all the Slasher movies I ever wanted to see are available on here. Sleep Away Camp, Slumber Party Massacre and The Dentist, oh my! After my huge let down from Boy Eats Girl, I wanted to watch a movie that I was going to enjoy and not be disappointed. Besides horror movies, I'm a huge fan of comedies. I love to laugh and I'm constantly telling people they need more laughter in their lives. It's the reason people die young, I'm sure of it. ;)
I watched the movie Stan Helsing last night cause I thought it was going to be funny since it's from the guys who made Scary Movie, well the executive producers. Boy, did this movie deliver! I was so pleased with Stan Helsing and enjoyed every minute. It follows a slacker movie clerk guy named Stan Helsing. He's on his way to a Halloween party with his friends. His ex-girlfriend Nadine, his best friend Teddy and their other friend Mia who is basically a slutty dumb blonde. Before they could go to the party, Stan had to drop off some movies to a customer or he would lose his job.
On their way to their destination they stumble upon some crazy things. Stan see's Chucky in the car next to them miming a blow job while smacking his ass. They picked up a hitch hiker who escaped from Prison then pushed him out of the car. They hit and killed a dog. The gas station attendant filmed Stan and Mia using the bathroom while masterbating. After all that weirdness, they finally reached their destination, Stormy Night Estate. They start their journey to the East Gate to drop off the movies, while meeting some locals on the way. They begin to tell the gang about that night their town got burned down and now they're haunted by Monsters.
Who are the Monsters? Freddy, Jason, Micheal, Leatherface, Pinhead and Chucky. All the greats in one movie. They could of found someone else besides Chucky, that would of made me happy. Now they have to fight their way to the East Gate without getting killed. Each scene they deal with the Monsters. They get stuck in the dream world by Freddy. They follow Micheal while he dumps a body down the sewer. Pinhead jumps out from being a hamburger and Jason chases them into an old house that kinda resembles the one in the F13 movies. They make a deal, whoever wins the karaoke contest gets their way. The Monsters win, they get to kill the group. The group wins, they get to go home alive. With no surprise the gang wins even though I thought the Monsters did a better job.
They did their version of YMCA. When you're dealing with Monsters, you need to know that they don't play by the rules. They still try to kill the group. Stan decides to live up to the town's expectations and fight the Monsters since everyone thought he was Van Helsing, the Monster Killer. The only way to get rid of the Monsters was to expose their weakness. Freddy's was removing his glove to show everyone his glittery, blinged out hand. In this movie, Leatherface used a leaf blower not a chainsaw. His weakness, Nadine unplugged his leaf blower. Stan pushed Pinhead's head down, smooshing him into nothing. Micheal and Jason had the same weakness. Stan grabbed their masks and smashed it in their face then pushed their heads together. Teddy sprayed Ketchup on them and pushed them outside so the dog Sammy Boy, they ran over could eat them.
This leaves Chucky. Stan laughs and says his weakness is that he's a doll. Kicks him and passes him along to the rest of the group so they could beat him up them hucks him out the window. I don't care what anyone says. If Chucky came to life and ran after you, you wouldn't laugh and kick him. You would shit your pants and run the other way. Don't make fun of me. He's my childhood fear, that little bastard is out to get me! Whew, got that out of my system. Stan and his friends save the day and head home. The movie ends with Stan and Nadine falling back in love and Mia giving Teddy a lap dance. I laughed so hard during that part. Her lines were perfect.
"First I need to check to see if you're alright." *Holds up stethoscope while dressed in a Nurse's costume.*
"Oh you're so sick, you're so sick! Welcome to my world now, Bitch!"
If you liked Scary Movie then you will like this. Personally, I thought this movie was way funnier then Scary Movie. I liked SM but I never laughed out loud in that movie. Stan Helsing, I did. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. It's not 100% standout comedy but It was no where near terrible. I would definitely watch this movie more then once and possibly even buying it. I highly suggest this if you're in need of a raunchy teen horror flick that's actually funny. If you liked it, you're welcome. If you didn't, blame Netflix. I give this movie 5 out of 5 Skulls.
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