Review: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

Last Monday night I had the opportunity to check out the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I was excited for this movie ever since I heard about the book. I've been familiar with the author Seth Grahame-Smith since I read his book "How to survive a Horror Movie." Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes place with Abraham as a little boy. He witnessed his mother being killed by a vampire and he swore that one day he will get revenge for his mother's death.

About ten years goes by and he stumbles along a man named Henry. Henry agrees to teach Abraham how to kill vampires as long as he follows his rules of when, who and where. Abe gets a job at a local grocery-like store and meets the unavailable Mary Todd, or so we thought. They begin to grow fond of each other and decide to marry.

Abraham knew he needed a back up plan and something to fall back on so he decided to get into politics. He felt as President he could make the Country a better place by getting rid of all the vampires. President of the United States by day, Vampire Hunter by night. Abraham and Mary Todd have a son that ends up being killed by a female vampire that just so happens to be one of the vampire leaders of the clan.

It comes down to the Battle at Gettysburg. Our faithful soldiers against an army of vampires. Mary Todd supports her husband and helps him with the battle against the vampires a long with some of Abe's other friends. They trick the male vampire leader into thinking all the sliver they have collected to use against the vampires was on the train they were currently on.

Abraham kills the male vampire leader while his wife kills the female vampire leader. The Battle at Gettysburg takes place and they use their weapon of sliver against the vampires and win the battle. Abraham goes on to continue his role as President which includes freeing Slavery and the Battle at Gettysburg. This movie was everything I could ever ask for. I loved every single minute of it, from start to finish.

This is why I go to the movies, this is why I love horror movies. Watching a movie that makes you feel exactly how Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter made me feel is an amazing feeling and it makes you crave for more. It's really not your typical horror movie. It has a campy feel to it but not the type of campy feel that makes you feel like you're watching a  B-horror movie failure. It's campy on purpose and it doesn't expect you to take it seriously.

It's fun, it's dark, it's entertaining, it's well written and it's self absorbing. You get sucked into this movie and feel like you're fighting the Vampires with Abraham. I found myself smiling throughout the movie, it was just that good. You can't go see this movie and not think to yourself "Wow!" It's mind boggling and seriously an EPIC WIN! The music was amazing and the fight scenes were hardcore. One thing on my list of why I love this movie so much is how it's not that gorey.

We all know I'm considered a gorehound and I like gorey movies but this movie had just the right amount of gore in it to satisfy my need for blood ;) and still manage to keep it low key and not over killing it. I know a lot of people didn't like this movie and I feel bad. I feel bad that they weren't able to have the same wonderful experience that I had with this movie. If they did, they certainly would of enjoyed it a lot more. If you haven't seen the movie yet and still need something to spice up your desire to see it then don't think and just watch it. If you love horror movies and even love campy B-horror movies then I'm sure you will love this movie.

I give this movie 5 out of 5 Skulls!

What Age Does Horror Movies Become Appropriate For Children?

Earlier today I was out running errands with my older sister and her two year old daughter. We grab a bite to eat at Panda Express. Sitting there enjoying our old, nasty food, my niece Emery starts jabbering away in her baby language. She stops to catch her breath then she continues with saying "I'll kill you." Ps. I am no longer able to babysit my niece. That little incident inspired this post. At what age does horror movies become "appropriate" for children?

A lot of people would argue and say kids shouldn't be able to watch or buy horror movies (R- rated) until of legal age which is 17. Though, I can understand their thinking behind it, I have no right to protest against kids watching horror movies while under the age of 17. That's something I did all the time. When me and my cousin were 15 we would go to Blockbuster and rent all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies since they didn't ID us there. Her older sister took us to see Freddy Vs. Jason in the theatres.

I was the first one to turn 17 out of all my friends so I was the one who went up and got the tickets to the movies. I would sneak horror movies into my house cause I wasn't aloud to watch R-rated movies since I was LDS. Telling your kids they can't watch this, they can't do that doesn't make any difference because they are going to go out and do it and watch it anyway. Regardless of how much you forbid it.

That brings us back to my question above, when does horror movies become appropriate for children? Some people might think "Well they're just going to watch them behind my back even after I told them no. I might as well just take them myself." I have mixed feelings on that notion. If you found out that your kid was doing cocaine, would you just shrug it off like "Oh well, they're going to do it anyway" and help buy them the drug. Or are you going to put your foot down and lay down the law and demand them to obey it?

Just because they are going to do it anyway doesn't mean you have to enable their bad habits. I don't find watching horror movies bad. I do however believe that it's not a genre for everyone. You have to have a certain mind set to be able to digest it without your mind going totally bonkers. I would go see a new horror movie in the theatre with my friend and sitting behind me is a wife and husband with their seven year old daughter. I'm sorry but that right there irritates the shit out of me.

First off, that's one of the reasons why I don't really like seeing horror movies in the theatres. I have to deal with the seven year old's crying and screaming at every scene. Second, I think seven years old is still too young to see a horror movie. IMO. Of course I can't point my finger at them and say how dare you take your seven year old child to see this movie. They have their right to their own opinion on parenting. For me I wouldn't let any of my children watch a horror movie if they are under the age of 10.

Again, you'll find some people who would consider 10 or 11 still too young. For this question/post, it's all about opinion and personal experience. You know what type of movie it is and you know what type of feelings it produces. At 10 or 11, you know your kids more then they know themselves. It's up to you to decide if your child is old enough or ready to experience a horror movie. At what age would you let your children watch a horror movie and what are your thoughts on the subject???

Jenny Krueger's Freaky Finds!!

When you're browsing the Internet, you tend to fall upon some freaky stuff. That is exactly what happened to me. When boredom meets horror obsession you get Jenny Krueger's Freaky Finds!! 

Freaky Finds #1: Mrs. Doubtfire becomes a horror movie.

I was lucky enough to find my way to this wonderful masterpiece. Someone turned the trailer of the movie Mrs. Doubtfire into a horror movie trailer. After watching it, you would be completely surprised to find out that it was fake and it's NOT a horror movie. I really wish they would make this real.





  Freaky Finds #2: Casper the friendly Ghost has a cereal.

Did you know that in the 60's they were actually thinking about coming out with a Casper themed cereal??? Move over Boo Berry, Post Ghosties is taking over. Sadly, the ghost themed cereal never became a reality. :(

Freaky Finds #3: Ventriloquist dummy pictures.

I found these pictures on FEARnet. If there is one thing that every person in the world can agree on is, Ventriloquist dummies are FUCKING creepy as HELL! I've always been terrified of dolls, thanks to Chucky. But it's those dummies that are so life like and have an uncanny human resemblance, makes my skin crawl.

Freaky Finds #4: Zombie Barbie.

Barbie has been EVERYTHING. From a Doctor to a Princess to a Lawyer. That little slut gets around. Now Barbie has died and come back as the living dead. Don't underestimate a girl who can go from being a street walker to a Doctor over night.

Freaky Finds #5: Horror themed housewares.

You can find these wonderful horror themed housewares over at Sourpuss. They also have a lot more goodies to choose from. Anything from bathroom items to bedroom items. Here I have, eyeball soap, ghost print shower curtain and bloody stains pillow case.

Welcome to Mockingbird Lane

FEARnet reports that there will be a reboot of the classic T.v. show The Munsters titled Mockingbird Lane. The show will air sometime on NBC. The recently signed  11- year old  Mason Cook for the role of Eddie Munster. Cook is best known for his role in Spy Kids: All the Time in the World 4D. 

In the show, little Eddie is terrified when he learns the truth about himself (sssh! He's a werewolf) He refuses to eat meat and he ends up getting into a show down with Grandpa during dinner. Cook joins previously announced cast, Eddie Izzard as Grandpa and Charity Wakefield as non-monstery cousin Marilyn. This is the first I've heard of  the news that they will be rebooting the show.

I'm actually quite excited for it since I wasn't old enough to enjoy the original besides watching reruns. I'll be sure to keep you guys up to date on the show so check back for more news on the new upcoming T.v. show Mockingbird Lane.

Yay!! 150 Followers!!!

I have just reached my 150 follower tonight!! The special person who brought me up to this wonderful milestone is Chris Rennirt from Space Jockey Reviews. Thank you so much Chris! I love getting new followers, not only because it gives my blog a bigger fan base, it gives me the opportunity to make new friends. 50 followers ago I met the lovely Emma from Little Gothic Horrors and she is one of my good friends and favorite bloggers.

About Chris: Chris Rennirt is a lifetime resident of Louisville, Kentucky, in the United States.  He attended the University of Louisville, where he earned a Bachelor of Arts in English and a Master of Arts in Education.  Chris is a writer, a magician, a photographer, and an independent film producer/director.  He enjoys, among other things, watching and reviewing movies professionally, as well as for the pure fun of it.  Chris owns and operates Space Jockey Reviews where his movie reviews and articles are published regularly.  At home, Chris has a menagerie of pets, including three snakes, two turtles, a salamander, a crayfish, and a poodle named Sammy.
Chris Rennirt may be contacted directly at chrisrennirt@spacejockeyreviews.com

Again, I would like to thank each and everyone of you who follows and comments on my blog. Your support means the world to me and It's such a wonderful feeling knowing that there are people out there who enjoy what you do. I love you all!!! :D