Like To Read? Love Horror Movies?, Love To Laugh??

Then you have to read "How to survive a horror movie" It is one of the most funniest books I have ever read. The book actually teaches you what to do and what not to do in a horror movie. What I love about this book is that it talks about all the great horror movies and what you need to do if you end up getting caught in one of those movies. Talks about if you find yourself in a cornfield (Children of the corn) all you have to do is dress really slutty cause their all religious and they'll freak out cause they dress like their polygamists and that will be a shock to see. If that doesn't work just make pot brownies and feed it to them and once their all doped up on the brownies that's when you get the hell out of there before He who walks behind the rows gets you.

It also talks about the classic horror movie character stereotypes. When you watch a horror movie you could always point out at least 2 of these characters cause every horror movies have them. What I like to do is when I'm at work and when I'm really bored which is at night cause it gets slow at self check out at night I like to look at all the customers and I imagine what character they would be and if they would survive a horror movie. They wouldn't. Here is the list of the horror movie stereotypes and see which one you are. I've been thinking about writing a how to book on what to do in a horror movie. It'll be different from this one cause it's written by me and the world needs to hear it from a Scream Queen's perspective

1: The nice guy with the Monosyllabic first name
2: The slutty goth chick
3: The virginal cop's/priest's/richest man in town's daughter
4: The nerd (or Nebbish Jew)
5: The Congenial fat guy (or deputy)
6: The sex crazed A-hole (or Italian)
7: The Black guy who buys it 20 minutes in
8: The black guy's girlfriend who buys it 24 minutes in.

I'm number 2. :D