Review (Return To House On Haunted Hill):

Last night I watched Return to House on Haunted Hill and I'm still on the fence whether I liked the first one better or the sequel. The sequel picks up with the movie showing what Dr. Vannacut did to all of his patients, I don't know why they did that cause if you saw the first House on Haunted Hill then you already know what happened. Ariel Wolfe is the sister of Sara Wolfe, a survivor of a massacre some years ago in the sanatorium "Hill House" Sara claims that phantoms in the house killed her friends but no one believes her, when out of the blue she kills herself her sister Ariel tries to figure out the reason why she did it. Suddenly Ariel and her friend Paul gets kidnapped by the douche bag art dealer Desmond. It seems that Desmond knows a lot about Sara and Hill House. Ariel is forced to help Desmond find a precious artifact, a figurine of the demon Baphomet that is worth a pretty penny, which is said to be hidden some where in Hill House.

A big group of "thugs" all go down to Hill House with Desmond and they set out to find the artifact. What I want to know is if you know what happened at that house why the hell would you go back to it? Why go back to the blood show of Hill House? I guess money is the root of all evil after all. Once things start to go bad the house goes into lock down and everyone starts to freak out yelling "Why is the house going into lock down?!" because the house doesn't want you to leave and it wants you to die a horrible, painful death. Idiots! One by one each person suddenly falls victim to Hill House which leaves Ariel, Paul, Desmond and Richard to fight for their life before they become the next victim. Desmond gets killed (good riddance!) and the ghosts try to get the rest of them but Paul distracts them so Ariel and Richard can destroy the artifact since that's the only way they can survive and get rid of the evil ghosts in the house. Didn't they get rid of the ghosts in the first movie? I swear they did. Ariel tries to destroy it but Richard interferes since he wants it cause apparently he's been looking for it for 20 years.

They end up fighting each other cause both of them want the artifact all for different reasons. Dr. Vannacut shows up to join in on the fight, I guess he felt left out. It's probably annoying to see the same old people every single day so he wanted to interact with new people, nothing is wrong with that don't judge him people! ;) Richard tries to fight him off but ends up getting killed cause he is the ghost of a evil doctor after all. After that Ariel dumps the artifact in the sewer which drains through the house and into the ocean so apparently getting the artifact out of the house and into the ocean saves everyone. Once she does that all the ghosts of the patients Dr. Vannacut tortured and killed shows up and turns on the Doctor and ends his rein of terror. Oh come on! I thought they already did this in the first one, since that didn't work I guess it wont work this time and he'll be back to torture more people who enter Hill House. The moral of this story is if you see a house that looks like it could be haunted and something bad like a murdering massacre happened there DON'T GO IN!!! I give this movie 4 out of 5 Skulls.

Review (A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 Freddy's Revenge):

When me and my cousin first watched this movie we were more amused then scared. This has to be one of the funniest Nightmare on Elm Street sequels. The movie starts out with the kids being drop off from school by the bus driver. If you look closely you can see that the bus driver is Robert Englund. Yes that's right kiddies, the same Robert Englund who plays Freddy in all of the Nightmare movies. The bus driver drops off the kids and starts driving away. In the back of the bus there's two preppy snotty girls and Jesse a lonely guy that no one hangs out with. The bus driver drives past the girl's stop so they call out "Bus driver that was my stop. Bus driver stop." Then he starts driving really fast like a crazy person and it shows Freddy's claw on the steering wheel. It shows the bus on top of a piece of earth that's been left from where the ground was coming apart. Freddy jumps up and walks towards Jesse and the girls then they start freaking out. If a crazy deformed looking person with a claw as a hand was walking towards me I would be freaking out too.

Jesse wakes up screaming dripping with sweat (yes it was all a dream. Got ya!) and in the kitchen Jesse little sister Angela ask her mom "Why does Jesse always wake up screaming, why can't he just wake up?" Well you see little Angela dear some guys wake up with a boner other guys wake up screaming. Just like some guys have wet dreams other have nightmares. Jesse and his family moved into the house of Nancy Thompson from the first Nightmare On Elm Street but they were unaware of what happened there before they moved into the house. Jesse gets to school where he See's the girl of his dreams Lisa Webber, uh Jesse honey she's way out of you're league sorry. The class is all out playing soft ball for gym and Jesse runs the bases that's when Jesse's frienemy Grady pants him and the whole gym class See's his ass, his very white ass. They get in a huge fight and the gym teacher breaks it up and makes them do push ups after class. Oh the gym teacher is also a major douchebag. They hit the showers which is where Grady starts telling Jesse about what happened in his house Jesse thinks he's full of it and ignores him then heads off home.

Once he gets home he calls Lisa to see if she wanted to hang out but his dad wont let him go out until he cleans his room. What a party pooper! He starts to clean his room and turns on his music and puts on his stunner shades and starts to get his groove on. His mom walks in his room with Lisa then he gets embarrassed. Lisa helps Jesse cleans his room and she finds Nancy's old dairy in his closet. They begin to read it and they find out all the information on what really happened to Nancy and her friends and who Freddy is. Jesse starts having dreams about Freddy and him becoming Freddy. Lisa has a party at her house and Jesse shows up late so she walks up to him to ask him whats wrong cause he looks terrible since he's not getting very much sleep. They go into the pool room to have privacy and he tells her about the dreams he's having and how he's scared cause Freddy is out to get him. They start making out which leads to the dirty work and Jesse licks between Lisa's chest and suddenly his tongue turns into Freddy's tongue. Jesse freaks out runs to Grady's house. He asks him if he can spend the night cause he's terrified to go to sleep.

Grady and Jesse falls asleep and we all know what happens when they fall asleep. He has a nightmare and turns into Freddy. He's freaking out yelling for Grady saying "He's inside me! Oh God I can feel him inside me!" hahahaha talk about gay innuendo! Jesse's chest splits open and Freddy pops out of his chest all bloody, so cool. Freddy kills Grady and heads for Lisa's party and starts going on a killing spree. After that Freddy runs to his boiler room and Lisa follows him and that's when Lisa tries to fight Freddy to get Jesse back which was a really cheesy scene. After everything is done it shows them in the bus driving off to school and the bus drivers starts driving fast so Jesse starts to freak out but Lisa calms him down letting him know everything is fine. And Lisa's friends says "Relax everything is fine, it's all over." but right when she starts to say all over Freddy's claw pops out of her stomach and everyone screams. All their facial expressions is pretty damn funny. I go back to watch it a few times cause it's really amusing.

It's a very cheesy sequel but it definitely is a lot of laughs and it's not terrible but not great. I liked it and I thought it was funny, I was laughing through out the movie.

I give this movie 4 out of 5 Skulls.