The days are getting shorter and darker. Here I am, 24 years of age and still living with my parents, working in retail. What do I have to offer the world? I know I have something very special that I can show the world but I can't put my finger on it. If I did, I would have to wash it. Some nights I find myself laying in bed staring at the ceiling, drifting off to my secret world that I've been going to since I was little. It's a special place where I feel safe and I feel like I'm worthy of a lot more then a single, 24 year old girl working in a grocery store.
I have a Yellow personality and we Yellows are motivated by fun, happiness and love. When the big mean Red monster known as Depression knocks on our door, we have a hard time adjusting to the fact that we're unhappy. Happiness is what we know and live by, we don't like feeling unhappy, unworthy and unloved.
The Red monster knocked on my door a couple of days ago. I've recently found out that the guy I casually dated for four months is getting married. I say casually because we were never exclusive and he didn't want to become BF/GF cause then all the other girls he's been hooking up with behind my back would find out and not talk to him anymore.
This brings me to the Red monster. Here is this big loser who had nothing going for him (at least when I was with him) no job, no car and no phone but he was lucky enough to find someone to marry. Then there's me. I'm not trying to be cocky or conceded but I think I am a great catch and would be a great girlfriend/wife. I have the type of personality that draws people in, I can get along with anyone. Regardless of age. I'm fun to be around, I can make people laugh, I'm bubbly and spunky. Yes, I know I can come off a little too strong and little eccentric but that's part of my charm.
I've been thinking to myself the past couple of days, wondering if there was something wrong with me and if I was the loser. He managed to find someone he loved enough to marry and I'm still single, never had a boyfriend, living with my parents. Working at a dead end job, feeling like my life is going nowhere and I'm going to die in retail.
I know I'm weird and I have quirks but I really do feel like that is what's going to make me famous. I have a Hollywood personality and that's where I belong. I know I'm suppose to be a comedian. Ever since I was little I specialized in Stand Up Comedy and I really do believe that's where I'm going to get my big break. Besides Stand Up Comedy, I really want to be a comedian actress and star in comedy movies.
I've been going to an acting class for the past six weeks and I told my teacher that my favorite actress is Sandra Bullock. I want to be like her. I want to have a variety in movies and not just do comedies. We all know I have the comedy side down, comedy is what I live by. But I do know, with the proper training and practice I can go far in that industry. I can do comedy, drama, thriller, action, romance, horror. You name it. I have the drive, the OCD and the determined personality to accomplish my goals. If I put my mind to it and work hard, I can accomplish it. I've done it many of times.
I have a feeling that one day I am going to be nominated for an Oscar. Me saying this isn't trying to be cool or cocky or act like I'm better then anyone. I really do believe I'm going to be nominated. I can't deny this feeling I have in my heart and soul, doing that is unnatural. You know when you get this feeling in your heart and it's so strong and you know without a Shadow of doubt, it's going to happen. It's hard to explain to other people because they don't know what goes on in your mind and how you feel inside. You do know what you're feeling and you can't deny that. Even if you tried to deny it and talk yourself out of it by saying "Oh that's never going to happen. Who am I kidding" you can't cause you know your feeling is true.
That's the type of feeling I have about being nominated for an Oscar. I know it's going to happen, I just know it. Do I know when it's going to happen and what type of genre I'll be nominated for? No but I know it's going to happen. I know I have a lot to offer the world and I know there are big things in store for me. Staying in Utah, working in retail would be a waste of the talent God gave me. I'm going to make this happen. I'm going to accomplish my goals and make it in Hollywood. Even if it kills me, I will make it happen. Like I said before. I rather fail trying instead of sitting at home thinking "what if?" At least I went out and tried.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar